We are the sum of our life experiences. Good or bad, they make us who we are today and what happens today will change who we are tomorrow. My life has taken me down many paths that twists and turns so sharply that one might ask if we are even still on the same road. Throughout my life many things about me have changed but the core of who I am is still there, or so I think. Ever since I was a small child my family has taken myself and my siblings camping, instilling a love and respect of nature and the world. The seed that was planted by my parents was cared for and nurtured by my friends, mentors, and teachers throughout my youth taking what was at first just a joy for camping and growing it into a thirst for more. A desire to become more and to get more from my time in the outdoors. On a family trip to the Black Hills of South Dakota I experienced rock climbing for the first time, seeing some people bouldering near our campsite I asked if I could try. Looking back I am pretty sure I climbed up their downclimb off of the boulder but I was hooked. In High school I joined a group called the Bristlecone Pine Club, where during the school year we climbed indoors and out weekly, location dependent on the weather and during the summer take a few weeks and travel out west to go backpacking through the wildernesses of the Rockies to climb and hike up mountains. This was my first introduction to Leave No Trace outdoor ethics.
Backcountry hiking would change my life in so many ways. I found a peace not only in the nature but in myself when I was away from the noise of civilization and the light pollution from urban sprawl. I remember sleeping on a frozen lake in the Beartooth Mountains of southern Montana one July night looking up at the sky and seeing countless stars and the colors of the Milky Way realizing that I hadn’t seen a plane for days. At this one moment there was no sign of the encroachment of humans into this pristine world, aside from the eight of us in our tents and sleeping bags. It was that night that truly cemented for me the need to protect our dark skies from light pollution so the future generations will still be able to look up with awe and wonder at the many worlds beyond our own.
All of those past experiences led me to where I am today, giving me the skills necessary to cycle from Alaska to Patagonia. When I started my current adventure I was in the far north of Alaska and Canada. A place on this earth still largely untouched by modern intervention by humans aside from a few small enclaves here and there dotting the Taiga like little specks of mud tracked through a house by a child, staying on a singular path leaving the rest unsullied by the trampling of industry in the name of progress. The further south I went the more frequent the signs of humanity became and my yearning to get away from it intensified; and when I would lie down at night the sky was no longer light because the sun wasn’t setting but because light was trapped in the atmosphere forever lighting the night in an eerie yellow glow, drowning out all the but the brightest of celestial objects. While the increased human presence made my travel easier by not having to carry as much food, the peace and serenity of sounds of the woods and my tires on the gravel were no longer there, replaced by the sounds of engines and cars rushing by, full of people eagerly speeding down the road to get to a destination maybe to relax for a few hours or a day before speeding back to home and work.
My time of reflection on this trip has treated me to a clarity of what truly makes us who we are. The times in my life that have had the strongest impact on me were the times I struggled through. When we have to dig deep to find the last of our will and strength and are able to crawl through the layers of doubt and climb into the light we grow so much and learn more about ourselves and what we are made of than we would find in a whole lifetime of ease. Making it through times of trouble make the times of joy and ease that much sweeter and rewarding, because when you haven’t known despair and hardship have you really known happiness? I have struggled a lot on this trip, at times wondering if I could even finish that day’s biking let alone the next years worth. I have to think back to my years of self doubt about myself, will I ever be able to transition, will my friends and family accept me, will I accept me? I then realize that I made it through that and came out a much stronger person than I was before and with a new set of skills to use for future problems. Look back the hardest time in your life and realize that you made it, and that if that was the hardest then now isn’t so bad and set out to tackle your goal. I have learned to focus on smaller goals and set to accomplish them because when you add up lots of small goals they can add up to the big one.